My life has been blessed. So very blessed. I have been given chances to learn lofty things from the greatest of mentors and teachers. I have been supported financially, mentally, spiritually, physically by so many friends and family members. And then there are nights like this. All is quiet, all is calm. I am given the chance to reflect on past experiences, to catch up with old friends. I forget about the stress of upcoming recitals and homework that is due by the end of the week and I reflect.
What have I given back? When one is given so much should they not give back? I've heard it said that being a teacher is a largely thankless task, and I disagree. The thanks are simply much quieter and much subtler. The looks of admiration from a high school student's face after seeing you perform on stage. The laughing that ensues from a misspoken word in class, no respect lost. The look of disappointment in their eyes for missing class or being sick and not able to perform their best and impress you. Do they know how much I love them? How can I give back even more than I already am? This cannot be a new dilemma. I try my hardest to tell my teachers how thankful I am to them for what they have given me. I hear myself repeating stories they have told me or using "-isms" that I have heard hundreds of times over the years and they will never know. They will never know how blessed I was by them or how much they influenced me.
But here I am, earning my master's degree in classical voice performance. A master's degree! My parents were surprised I had the desire to get a bachelor's and I made it here. A semester and a half left, my future hanging in the delicate balance of God's will and plan, and all I can do is reflect.
From here on out, the work I do is not for me. The work I do is not, deep-down, for my students, my friends, my teachers, my family. The work that I do is for God's Kingdom and from the overflow of my thanks to Him and the people He has put in my life to get me to this point. If anything is able to boost my drive and tenacity, that is. I was recently reading in Galatians where it says that we "are children of promise." God has promised us so much and He makes good on those promises daily. My faith is not one of things that I must do, but of an overwhelming sense of relief and gratitude and awe. English fails me to describe what I really feel, but the sentiment is true.
My grades are His. My social life is His. The computer I'm writing on is His. I can claim nothing and therefore must use everything to the best of its ability, including my own body. Here is to finishing out this semester and this year stronger than any before.
Out of thankfulness for those God has placed in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment